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Did you know that November is officially Military Family Appreciation Month? As a former military wife myself, I'm happy about this opportunity to recognize our brave men and women and their families. But what does it really mean? From Military.com: Each year the President signs a proclamation declaring November Military Family Month. This annual proclamation marks the beginning of a month-long celebration of the Military Family in which the Department of Defense and the nation will honor the commitment and sacrifices made by the families of the nation's servicemembers. (Read more here.) I certainly appreciate the Department of Defense's (and "the nation's") recognition of military families. But do you know what's even more powerful than video tributes and PSAs, resolutions and proclomations? You and me, showing appreciation in personal ways to the military families we know. Please, let's not leave honoring the military up to the Department of Defense this month, or any other month of the year. It can never replace what neighbors, churches, and fellow citizens can do for one another.  My friend, Army wife Benita Koeman says, “I adopted a genuine ‘I can do this’ attitude about the second deployment. But I couldn’t do it alone, and most good intentions to help from the people we love fell by the wayside. As I struggled to take care of our young children (ages two, four and six years old), I felt alone and abandoned. At one point I bordered depression. I tried my best to smile, to fake like all was okay and to convince myself it was. But it wasn’t.” The evidence for military families in need isn’t just anecdotal. A large-scale study published in January 2010 in the New England Journal of Medicine looked at electronic medical data for more than 250,000 of the nearly 300,000 women whose active-duty husbands were deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan from 2003 to 2006. The study found that 36.6 percent of women whose husbands had deployed had at least one mental-health diagnosis, such as depression, or an anxiety or sleep disorder And let’s remember- these are just the results of those with official diagnoses. Many women resist seeking help for the same reason their husbands in uniform do—they fear a negative stigma. “Besides fear for the safety of their loved ones, spouses of deployed personnel often face challenges of maintaining a household, coping as a single parent and experiencing marital strain due to a deployment-induced separation of an uncertain duration,” the study says. But you don’t need a mental illness diagnosis to need a helping hand. “I really needed signs to know that as I struggled, that people cared, cared enough to do something,” says Koeman. “But I did not get that.” As a result of her experience, she founded the Web site www.OperationWeAreHere.com, to serve as a clearinghouse of resources and ideas for how to support military families. So what can you do for the home front in honor of National Military Family Month? Quite a bit, as it turns out. Here are some ideas to consider year-round.   Get Your Church Involved With record numbers of troops deployed or returned from the current war, most churches are in a perfect position to minister to families of either Active Duty, Reserves, or National Guard service members. Here are just a few ways to provide reinforcements: Send reverse care packages. Send care packages to the deployed members, and “reverse” care packages to the families on the home front. If possible, find out through email from the deployed spouse what he’d like his/her spouse and children to have for special holidays such as Valentine’s Day, birthdays, Christmas, etc. These are all days when a husband and father’s absence is felt the most keenly. Then make sure his family gets these items on the special days. Or simply put together a package for the home front members yourself to express your appreciation and support—whether it’s a gift card to Starbucks or a local spa, movie tickets or something else. Consider including one of these inspirational books for military. Offer a Military Night Out. Once a month, offer a Military Night Out where the church provides dinner and child care for children of the military member. The parents can go have a date night together, or if the spouse is deployed, the spouse at home can get a break from the kids and do errands, get together  with friends or just have some time to herself. Organize a returning veterans fellowship. Those coming home from combat need to be in fellowship with others who understand the special adjustment issues they will be facing. Often the military member doesn’t want to share all the details of combat with the spouse to protect the spouse from those images. Organize a simple gathering for veterans to benefit from being with others who understand exactly what they’re going through. Honor the troops. Watch the calendar and honor the troops around Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Veteran’s Day with special breakfasts for them or at least a mention from the pulpit. Show military members and their families (veterans included) that they are special. Take Personal Initiative No time to get a group together for an organized military ministry? No problem. Choose from this arsenal of ideas to personally support the military spouse at home. Create some coupons. Instead of simply telling a military spouse you’re willing to help, give her some specific ideas of what you can offer. Either give him/her a list of your services or create a coupon booklet for free babysitting, a coffee date, financial counseling, running errands, an hour or two of housework, etc. [[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"1081", "attributes":{"class":"media-image alignright size-full wp-image-2337", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"425", "height":"282", "alt":"cookie-care-package"}}]] Surprise the home front spouse. Make an ordinary day special by dropping off a basket of favorite foods, a great book, or new magazine and/or a movie rental you know the military spouse or kids have been wanting to see. Fix what’s broken. Find out what’s broken and fix it—or help tide the spouse at home over until a professional can make the repair. If her computer is down, let her use yours to email her spouse. If the washing machine is on the fritz, let her do a few loads at your house this week. If the car stopped running, offer to give (or arrange) rides. Get your hands dirty. For every season, there are jobs to be done outside. Pitch in when you can to mow the lawn, pull weeds, clean out gutters, shovel snow, or wash windows. Bring a meal. Providing a ready-to-eat (or ready-to-cook) dinner means one less thing an already stressed military spouse would have to think about. If you don’t have time for a full dinner, a homemade loaf of bread, muffins, or cookies would still be great. If you make freezer meals like I do, donating one (or more) to a military family is simple and effective. Make a call. Every so often, make a quick phone call to see how the family is getting along. Keep it brief, and leave a message if there’s no answer. Let her know you are there to support her, but be sensitive to the fact she may not want to talk long. Be there. Visiting is a great mood lifter, but ask first before showing up unannounced. Be consistent. Mark your calendars to send a small note or email or phone call on a regular basis—not just right after the spouse deploys. And don’t expect a response each time. Support that wife regardless of if she thanks you for every thoughtful gesture of yours. [[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"1082", "attributes":{"class":"media-image alignleft wp-image-2338 size-full", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"200", "height":"300", "alt":"closeupwoman-praying"}}]] Pray. Pray for the one serving our country overseas, but also pray for those serving at home—the spouse and children. Pray for the entire family even after the spouse returns home, too! That re-entry adjustment period is often just as stressful as deployment. Find specific ways to pray for the service member here. Ideas for how to pray for the home front spouse are here. Supporting the military spouse allows him/her to support her active duty spouse and children in a way that only a spouse can. And knowing that the family is supported back home will allow the deployed spouse to better focus on his/her mission. When you minister to the military spouses and children, you are supporting the troops as well. Happy Military Family Appreciation Month! [[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"1083", "attributes":{"class":"media-image aligncenter wp-image-2335 size-full", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"550", "height":"454", "alt":""}}]]

Listen in as Dr. Gary Chapman and I talk about Keeping Love Alive During Deployments on the Focus on the Family Jim Daily broadcast! Follow this link and listen any time. Please note this is a two-day series, so don’t miss either one! These programs are based on our book, The 5 Love Languages Military Edition. In the photo above, from left to right: John Fuller, Gary Chapman, Jocelyn Green, and Jim Daly, in the broadcast studio in Colorado Springs. (The photo in the bottom right is me in the Green Room with my souvenir mug!) Visit my Web site for military wives at www.faithdeployed.com.

"So Jocelyn," the television host boomed as she held a microphone under my chin at the International Christian Retail Show. It was my first TV appearance after the release of Wedded to War, and I was prepared to talk about the Civil War, nursing, the writing process, or almost any related topic.  Instead, "I hear you do freezer meals, is that right?" Slight hesitation. "Yes, that's right." "Tell us about that!" The topic struck me as an odd one for the occasion, but I complied, much to my agent's amusement afterward. :) Since then, I've noticed a lot of fascination with freezer meals. Most people agree it sounds like a good idea--it saves you oodles of time, money, and sanity--but they stop short of doing it themselves because the task sounds so daunting. But listen. You can do it. Anyone can. Here are three different approaches to consider. 1. Easy Does It This is a great way for anyone to build up their freezer meals, but especially those who can't carve out a full day for meal preparations. When you make your own family dinner, double it. Eat one the day you prepare it, and freeze the other. Casseroles, etc., will save for about three months in the freezer. If it's just marinated meat, it can keep for up to six months. Use gallon size ziplock freezer bags, or tin or Gladware 8x8 dishes covered with tin foil. (I actually cover mine with three layers and then put it in a gallon ziplock.) I also do this with cookie dough. We'll bake half the batch, then I'll divide and freeze the rest of the dough to bake later. Label everything with date and cooking instructions. You may know exactly what to do, but if you give the meal to a new mom or someone recovering from surgery or broken limb, instructions will be handy. 2. Sweet and Simple Option number two: Join forces with nine or so other friends/acquaintances. Each of you commit to making a dinner entree times ten on your own time, in your own kitchens. Set a time and place and swap meals, so each of you end up with ten different meals for your freezer. Just determine who is making what ahead of time so there is a good variety. 3. Go the Distance It's time to roll up your sleeves! Find a friend or two and spend one full day prepping about 30 meals for each of you. This is the option I choose before I head into my writing cave for major projects. In fact, I just did this with my neighbor last Friday (time to start drafting Spy of Richmond!)  so I have several tips still fresh in my mind to share. [[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"997", "attributes":{"class":"media-image aligncenter", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"419", "height":"489", "alt":"SAMSUNG CAMERA PICTURES"}}]] Planning First, it makes sense to work with a friend whose family size is similar to yours. Choose a host kitchen for meal prep day. Counter space is king. Also, proximity to a grocery store may be a consideration--you just might find a grocery run necessary. Together, decide whether you want to prepare fewer meals in greater quantities (i.e. four batches of fifteen meals, so you each get two of the same) or more meals in fewer quantities (i.e. two batches of thirty meals). Preparing more of the same kind of meal simplifies the grocery shopping, but some find the extra effort worth it to have greater variety in the freezer. Choose your recipes. You can use your own, or consult special cookbooks such as Don't Panic, Dinner's In the Freezer, or browse any number of freezer meal recipes online. Check out these links or search Pinterest if you want more ideas. Just be sure to include a variety in your plan. You can shorten your meal prep day by choosing recipes that require fewer ingredients, and those that do not require you to pre-cook meat. Make your grocery list carefully. Indicate ounces next to jars and cans. When shopping, note that a 28-ounce can is not always cheaper than buying two 14-ounce cans. Be prepared to do lots of calculating in the aisles. To save money, consider substituting ground turkey for ground beef for some recipes, or go to a meat locker if you can. Buying a whole chicken is much cheaper than buying skinless boneless chicken breasts, but keep in mind it will take longer to get the meat off the bird. Wait as long as you can to do the shopping since you'll need most of your fridge/counter space for the groceries until the meal prep day. Save time on meal prep day by labeling your ziplock bags beforehand. Writing the date, meal, and cooking instructions on 60 bags (or 40, or 80, or whatever you decide) gets tedious. Consider making cookies or cookie dough to trade on meal prep day, too. I did this with a friend in November, and it was a big help to have Christmas cookies already done for the season! If you have kids, arrange for their care ahead of time, at least for part of the meal prep day. Or if they are old enough, put them on clean-up duty--washing dishes, rinsing cans and peeling off labels if you recycle, etc. Last week I took a Sharpie and labeled the top of every can I bought, which meant I didn't have to pick up each can to find what I was looking for a meal prep day. Also, if a little one comes along and takes all the labels off any cans when you're not looking, all is not lost. :) Decide what you'll eat on meal prep day for lunch and dinner. It has worked well for me to pack a sandwich for lunch (or have hubby bring us take-out), and have pizza for dinner, or just easy-to-eat things like string cheese, bananas, etc. DO NOT WASTE TIME making or cleaning up after your own lunch and dinner on meal prep day! If you are not the hostess, bring a laundry basket or two with you to help carry the meals home. Meal Prep Day Start as early as possible. Expect to work past dinner time. If you get done earlier, so much the better. Wear good shoes. You'll be standing all day. Use a food processor to chop, slice, shred. If you don't own one, but plan to do a lot of vegetable chopping, borrow or buy one. I have a 7-cup one and it works great. Wearing an apron protects your clothes but also gives you an instant towel for your hands. Bring an extra can opener. To cut down on eye-sting from onions the best solution I've used is to set up a standing fan to blow the vapors away. You could also wear a ski mask, which is what I did last week. Sorry, no photos. :) Choose a system for tackling your recipes. Once my friends and I each took a recipe to do all the way through. Last week my neighbor and I worked at stations until it was time to assemble. I was the Queen of the Food Processor and she was the Meat Maestro. (I definitely got the easier end of the deal.) Once those jobs were done, I added the cans to the bags, and she added the spices. Save time by not peeling your washed carrots before you chop them. No one will know. Consider putting your crock pots to work for you while you work. Last fall my friend and I had a roast cooking in each of our two crockpots. At the end of the day we shredded the meat and added sauce to make BBQ pulled pork. YUM. Wherever you're working, have a "garbage bowl" nearby so you're not frequently making trips to the kitchen trash can. Have plenty of rags or paper towels on hand. Spills happen. Have a few first aid items ready, such as band-aids and whatever burn ointment you prefer. Keep a sense of humor. Ask questions of each other to clarify who's doing what, what's been done, etc. If you have extra vegetables, chop them up and put them in a freezer bag to steam later as a side dish. If you are short on an ingredient, ask yourself: can I go without it? Does the hostess have it in her pantry? Can we substitute something else in its place? Can we add it to the recipe on the day we cook it? If the answer to all these questions is no, send a husband to the grocery store. :) Expect to smell like onions and peppers for at least a day after this. If you trust the seals on your freezer bags, lay them flat in your freezer and stack them. It saves space AND thawing time. Save out at least one meal for your family to eat the next day. I'm telling you, you will not feel like cooking quite yet! This "go the distance" brand of freezer meals does take Rocky Balboa-style stamina for one day, but it's so worth it. I now have 30 meals in my freezer, which means I have way more mental space for writing every day, or for playing Chutes and Ladders with my son at 4:30 in the afternoon. Also, the cost ended up being an average of $1.15 per serving, which is GREAT! Final tip: when you feel your energy lagging on meal prep day, pull up this blog post and play the following YouTube clip. You can do it!

You know you're a history nerd when you're more excited about the anniversary of the Gettysburg Address than you were about your own birthday. Guilty, I confess. But today is not just any anniversary--it's the 150th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's most famous speech. An estimated 15,000 attended the Dedication Ceremony of the National Soldiers Cemetery at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, a little more than four months after the battle of Gettysburg took place in 1863. The photo above, courtesy of the Library of Congress, shows some of the crowd. Thousands of people are in Gettysburg today for the re-enactment of the event, too. If you're quick, you can catch the live stream of the event here!) Though I would love to be part of the crowd, I'm not complaining, since my husband and I were among the thousands who were present for the 150th anniversary of the battle in July. (Check out my Gettysburg trip scrapbook here!) On Nov. 19, 1863, the keynote speaker was the politician and orator Edward Everett, who spoke for two hours, while Abraham Lincoln's speech was closer to two minutes. Read the text of Edward Everett's speech here. Read Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg address here. A few observations from Gettysburg residents follow. "[The president was] the most peculiar looking figure on horseback I had ever seen. He rode a medium-sized black horse and wore a black high silk hat. It seemed to be that his feet almost touched the ground, but he was perfectly at ease." ~Daniel Skelly "The chief impression made on me...was the inexpressible sadness on his face, which was in so marked contrast with what was going on...where all was excitement and where everyone was having such a jolly time [referring to a parade before the speeches]." ~Liberty Hollinger In the text of his address, Lincoln said, "The world will little note nor long remember what we say here," but has been proven wrong for 149 years. After Lincoln's remarks, his Attorney General, Wayne McVeagh, told him, "You have made an immortal address!" Lincoln was quick to respond: "Oh, you must not say that. You must not be extravagant about it." McVeagh, however, had it right. Lincoln's words continue to inspire. The final scene of my novel Widow of Gettysburg takes place at the Dedication Ceremony, Nov. 19, 1863. Source for quotes in this blog post: Bennett, Gerald R. Days of Uncertainty and Dread: The Ordeal Endured by the Citizens at Gettysburg. Gettysburg, PA: The Gettysburg Foundation, 1994. About Widow of Gettysburg: When a horrific battle rips through Gettysburg, the farm of Union widow Liberty Holloway is disfigured into a Confederate field hospital, bringing her face to face with unspeakable suffering--and a Rebel scout who awakens her long dormant heart. While Liberty's future crumbles as her home is destroyed, the past comes rushing back to Bella, a former slave and Liberty's hired help, when she finds herself surrounded by Southern soldiers, one of whom knows the secret that would place Liberty in danger if revealed. In the wake of shattered homes and bodies, Liberty and Bella struggle to pick up the pieces the battle has left behind. Will Liberty be defined by the tragedy in her life, or will she find a way to triumph over it? Read more about the book here.  

In case you've ever wondered why it takes so much time to write a historical novel, allow me to share with you last night's experience as a prime example. Right now I'm working on my third novel in the Heroines behind the Lines series, Yankee in Atlanta. I worked last night from about 5:30pm to 2am, with about an hour break to get the kids into bed. I wrote a single scene. *bashes head onto keyboard* *regains composure* Here's why. I wanted Noah to give Caitlin a shooting lesson before he leaves with the army. Sounds simple enough, right? Well... read on. And between each "Obstacle" just say to yourself "Time passes." Because it did. Ha! Obstacle #1: Where would you go to give shooting lessons? Away from the city, I decide, to be safe. OK, but where? What does it look like, sound like, smell like? I look at several maps of Atlanta in 1863-4, and see there is a creek about two miles east of the city. Good start, we can put them there. I look up "Sugar Creek, Georgia" using Google Images. Mostly a bunch of real estate comes up, but I do see trees. This makes sense. But what kind of trees, plants, grasses, flowers, etc. were there? I flip through my new book on native Georgia Wildflowers and find descriptions for the Upper Piedmont region. Now I know what the vegetation may have included. But what else? Stone Mountain is close to Atlanta. Could they have seen that in the distance? I look up some more maps, then look up the elevation of Stone Mountain and ultimately decide no, they would not have seen the mountain from where they were. Too bad. Finally, I can see where my characters are, and write:   Out here, away from a city swollen with war and throbbing with nationalism, away from rutted roads that pulsed with people, away from fevered factories and screaming trains, Noah Becker could remember what he had loved most about America. Closing his eyes, he inhaled the pine scent carried by wind that hushed through the trees like a mother to her child. Sugar Creek gurgled and glittered in the sun, the land hugging its banks to it unsullied by man’s progress. The clink of his horse’s bridle, the drone of cicadas, the drilling of a woodpecker from some unseen place—[you can read the rest when it comes out!] Also: I remember that Carl Schurz, a German revolutionary who emigrated to the U.S. and fought in the Civil War, had a very romantic log-cabin view of American before he came here. I decide my character Noah Becker had a similar sentiment, as a German revolutionary immigrant himself. I decide to say so, since now we're out here away from the city in this scene, and he would have remembered his simplistic vision of America. But I want to remember exactly what it was Carl Shurz said about this. So I look up his Reminiscences on my Kindle and do a search for "log cabin" until I find the passage I'm looking for. Bingo. I write the next paragraph with confidence. Obstacle #2: I have never fired a gun before, let alone a Civil War gun. How does one do it? Well, first I have to decide on the weapon Noah leaves at home for Caitlin to use. Although I now know how to load and fire a Civil War musket/rifle from last year's research, I decide that he would be taking the rifle with him as a soldier. If he has an extra revolver, he could leave that with her to defend herself and her home. Right, a revolver. What kind of revolver would a Southern man have? How would you use it? I search online for firearm safety tips and find generic common sense things, such as don't store it loaded, don't put your finger on the trigger until you're ready to shoot, etc. OK, but I need something more specific. I go to YouTube and after viewing several unhelpful videos (time passes, time passes) I find a video so brilliant I pinned it to my Yankee in Atlanta Pinterest board. Now I see a revolver (the Kerr) which my character could have used. (I'm saying a Rebel veteran client paid him for his legal services with this gun about a year ago, since Confederate money was so depreciated.) Not only do I get to see the gun, but the guy in the video shows me how to load it AND fire it, I get to see the accuracy of the thing, I see the recoil, what it sounds like...in short, it's a jackpot. For you fellow Civil War enthusiasts, here it is: Problem solved. [UPDATE: I ended up NOT using this gun, because I found a real live Civil War firearms expert who set me straight. Problem solved... again.] Obstacle #3: When Noah stands behind Caitlin as she's about to fire, he can smell her. But what does she smell like? Soap was a scarce commodity in the South. I pull out two books from my shelf: Ersatz in the Southern Confederacy (a book on Southern shortages and substitutions) and a little booklet on Civil War Herbs and Plants I picked up at one of a few Civil War museums I visited earlier this summer. Neither one is organized very well, so I go fishing for references to soap. [Time passes] In both places, I find that chinaberries made the best soap, and did not require grease. Great! But these books refer to chinaberry soap in Mississippi and Virginia. Were there chinaberries in Georgia? I look in my Georgia Wildflowers book but the index is incomplete and I lose patience. I Google chinaberry and Georgia, and find information that makes me comfortable in saying Caitlin made her own chinaberry soap. That's what she smelled like. Also, the scent is sweet and mild. Problem solved. Sidetrack: There is an ad on the Google article sidebar for some piece of news, and I click on it because I am woefully behind in current events. (Gee I wonder why.) But it ends up being a huge page of celebrity gossip. I actually spend a moment scanning the headlines, but refrain from clicking on anything that will take me deeper into the abyss. Pull out! I tell myself. Pull out! I close the Web page and return to my Word doc. Those were my three main obstacles last night. Other sidetracks included: Telling Pandora that "Yes, I'm still listening" so many times I give up and play my own music. I tried the soundtrack to Limitless, the movie about a writer who takes a wonder drug and finishes his book in three days. I spend time wondering, if presented with such a temptation, would I take the pill? Hmmmm.... Posting on Facebook that I am trying to write a sparky (romantically speaking) scene, and then checking back every once in a while to see comments on my post. (Hey, being a writer can get lonely.) Staring at my fingernails and cuticles Rolling around on my bouncy ball, pretending I'm giving my core a "work-out" during my moments of writer's block Rubbing BioFreeze into my right upper back, and onto my right forearm Looking up various words at dictionary.com to make sure they were in use in 1863 Gazing longingly at the covers of my first two novels and visualizing the day when this book, too, shall be DONE Snacks. I made a few trips to the kitchen. String cheese, blueberries, brownies. Not all at once. That was just one scene. I'm not even going to tell you how much time I spent looking for the perfect Greek Revival floorplan for Noah's house before hearing from a historian in Marietta that maybe a plantation plain style would be better for him. Or how long I researched dog breeds that were popular in Georgia homes before and during the Civil War. I'm sure other writers are way faster than me. But this is a glimpse into my process. It is S-L-O-W. But I hope the end result will be a novel you can trust. :) P.S. I may not be blogging again until the book is done. Now you know why. :)