military

[[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"796", "attributes":{"class":"media-image alignleft wp-image-1073 size-full", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"204", "height":"336", "alt":"FaithDeployedAgain_cover204"}}]]Welcome to the Faith Deployed...Again online book club, Day 13! (Not sure what this is all about? Click here.) In Your Book: Before we begin, please turn in your copy of Faith Deployed...Again to page 162 and read "In the Cave" by Pam Anderson. (If you don't have a book, don't go away! We'd love to have you join us for this discussion anyway!) Now Let's Talk: The "cave" Pam refers to in the book is an OCONUS assignment, but we can all relate to being in our own place of darkness. In today's discussion, special guest Penny Monetti shares a very personal experience of being in that place in her marriage: I sat in the empty parking lot with closed car windows and yelled at God (yes, yelled), “Why don’t you hear me?” I’ve prayed everyday for months for you to restore my marriage. I thought that’s what you wanted, too! If it is, then why aren’t you doing something? The Bible says not to fear; you are always with me. So, where are you, God? I feel more alone now than ever!” Like the author Pamela Anderson, describes in her chapter entitled, “In the Cave” from the inspirational book, Faith Deployed. . .  Again, I was in the bowels of a dark cave. Although it actually took years to arrive at this god-forsaken place, it seemed like it happened overnight. [[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"1095", "attributes":{"class":"media-image size-full wp-image-2424", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"500", "height":"333", "alt":"Tony and Penny Monetti"}}]] Tony and Penny Monetti   As I shared in Called to Serve: My once "perfect" marriage turned south. Our oldest child was leaving for college out of state. Unattained dreams evolved into bitterness. Long missions, TDYs, and business responsibilities wedged my husband, Tony, away from our family and the quality time to which we were accustomed. Our communication link severed. Tony faced retirement and was striving to control unknown circumstances. Whenever I mentioned touchy issues, Tony grew angry. I bottled my feelings to avoid conflict, compensating by overcommitting my time to several worthy organizations. I became distant and failed to meet Tony’s needs, which caused him to feel unappreciated and unloved. In turn, Tony’s discontent brewed and I grew more distant and depressed. The circle continued as we steadily grew further and further apart. Before we knew it, the word “divorce” seared our daily conversation. We were in a tailspin, plummeting quickly for a marital crash and didn’t know how to regain control. Neither Tony nor I never imagined we would be contemplating a divorce as we pledged our undying love to each other nineteen years earlier. Now we were in a tailspin, plummeting quickly for a marital crash and didn’t know how to regain control. We struggled to remain in a room together for five minutes without fighting. It crushed me that our kids were witnessing the turmoil. Although I prayed, and I asked family members and Christian friends to pray, I did not feel God’s presence. I wondered if God deemed me unworthy since He wasn’t answering my prayers-or so I thought. Although our feelings of love had seemingly disappeared and I felt abandoned by God, I made one of the hardest, life-changing decisions while isolated in the cave. I chose to remain obedient to God and resolved to salvage our war-torn marriage when the world dangled the promise of an easier life through divorce. Tony and I had a history together. At one time, we were each other’s best friend. I knew first hand the collateral damage that divorce inflicted on children. I didn’t need to review the overwhelming statistics (although I’ve included some for those who are curious). I just had to peek into my own backyard; my two sisters and I were adult living proof how divorce emotionally scars children. Despite the popular view that if it gets tough, bail out, Tony and I both chose to honor the “for worse” part of our marriage. Shortly, after much prayer to find a Christian marriage counselor whom we could both relate to, we met a godly man who guided us down the tough road to healing our marriage. The cave served a far-reaching purpose. I look back now at that pitiful, lost woman, crying out to God for help in the parking lot five years ago. I couldn’t fathom why God didn’t instantly answer my prayers. He allowed me to bump and bruise myself while blindly feeling my way through the isolated cave. However, now, I see that the cave served a far-reaching purpose. I learned the importance of blind obedience to God when I didn’t feel His presence even though the Lord had never left my side. First Samuel 24 describes David hiding in an actual cave from King Saul, who was bent on killing David for fear he would take his position as king. Saul enters the rocky cavern to relieve himself (crude, but a necessity, and I love that the Bible tells it like it is), giving David a once-in-a lifetime opportunity to finish off the king. David instantaneously has a life-altering choice to make and only seconds to do so. Does he kill Saul? With Saul dead, the need to hide out like a rodent in caves would be gone. Stress would disappear. Wouldn’t it? David stands at a crucial crossroad. He painstakingly decides to remain obedient to God’s command not lift a hand against His anointed ruler. Despite David’s soldiers’ well-meaning advice to kill Saul, David ignores their counsel and remains obedient to God. I felt an instant camaraderie with David. He felt unheard the same way I did as he desperately cried out for God’s help (Psalm 22). Despite David’s struggles, he chose to remain obedient to God’s commands, and when his prayers felt unheard, David praised God. Reality hit. I discovered that caves are the Rubicon where great life changes occur-good or bad. The choice is ours. We can get depressed and feel sorry for ourselves, or we can obey God’s precepts and praise Him because His promises are true. Like David, we periodically find ourselves in the “caves” of life and arrive at an impasse. Sometimes it’s a gradual process or it may be immediate, like a phone call, a misspoken word, or a turn into the wrong lane, and our lives leap from normality into chaos overnight. We find ourselves alone, pulled from our bright lives into the cave’s pit of darkness where we are pressed to make tough decisions. Well-meaning friends may advise us to take the seemingly easier route, which isn’t normally God’s direction. What choices do we make in that cave? Do we leave our spouse and search for greener pasture? Do we take another drink or pop another pill? Do we slander another’s character through gossip? Do we stop trusting God because of illness, unmet dreams, or broken promises? We can remain obedient to God’s commands and let Him restore and transform us within that lonely cave, or we can choose what appears to be the easy way out, looking to worldly views, which in the end cause destruction to ourselves and those we love most. The road less traveled is usually the tougher course, but it’s the most character-strengthening and rewarding. Had Tony and I not traveled into the “cave,” we would have never recognized our own weaknesses and transformed our war-torn marriage into the healthy union that it is today. If God immediately answered my prayer when I asked, then demanded, the refining process intended to detoxify the impurities that were poisoning our relationship may have never occurred. Instead, God forged a strong fortress-a lifetime union richly blessed with love, but only after choosing to obey God’s commands and trust His direction. Discuss: How about you? Are you feeling isolated as you search for a way out of a cave’s darkness? What crossroads are you facing? Are you aligning your decisions with God’s direction or with the world’s view? God is with you, even if your prayers seem unheard. He is directing your path and offering His hand as you read this. The road may be difficult, but if you stick with God’s direction, His provision, love, and eternal rewards await you. So that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ~1 Peter 1:7

[[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"1093", "attributes":{"class":"media-image alignleft size-full wp-image-2413", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"284", "height":"423", "alt":"black-woman-and-Bible"}}]]Welcome to the Faith Deployed...Again online book club, Day 11! (Not sure what this is all about? Click here.) In Your Book: Before we begin, please turn in your copy of Faith Deployed...Again to page 146 and read "Placing Our Identities in Christ" by Jill Hart. (If you don't have a book, don't go away! We'd love to have you join us for this discussion anyway!) Now Let's Talk: Today's discussion is led by Jill Hart. In "Placing Our Identities in Christ," I give two suggestions for how we can daily live as children of God, keeping in mind that our "identity rests not in what you do, or what ID badge you carry in your purse, but it's found in Christ and the sacrifice He made for our sins." The suggestions I gave were: 1. Know what the Bible says. Reading from God's Word each day is a graet way to learn more about our Creator and our identity as God's child. 2. Take captive every thought. When those negative thoughts begin popping up ("God could never love you," "You're no good,") stop them in their tracks. Recite one of the verses above and remind yourself that it's what God says that matters. Today I want to explore this concept of taking every thought captive. This phrase comes from 2 Corinthians 10:5, which says: "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." So what does that really mean? It means make sure that what you're thinking lines up with biblical truth. Now let's look at what this means on a practical level. Do you ever catch yourself being critical … of yourself? Most of us strive to be kind to others – to follow the “Golden Rule.” We know that our mother’s admonishment of “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” applies to what we say to those around us. But, when it comes to ourselves we are our own harshest critic. We also have an enemy that is skilled at finding our weakest points and whispering those things to us repeatedly. “God could never really love you.” “You’re not good enough.” “You should avoid disappointment and just quit now.” We wrestle through our days trying to work despite these debilitating thoughts. We trudge through life living as if these statements were true. But they are not true. In fact, God’s Word tells us the opposite: We cannot be separated from the love of God (Romans 8:31-39) We are free from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2) We can be confident that God will complete the good work He started in me (Philippians 3:20) I get caught in this trap over and over. And over and over I go and sit at the feet of Jesus and ask Him to fill me with His truth once again. And He does. Every time. When those negative thoughts begin sprouting in your mind, stop them in their tracks with the Word of God. Recite one of the verses above. Take confidence in the fact that it’s what God says that matters. Discuss: What are the most common thoughts you need to "take captive" in your own mind? What Scripture verses are your favorites to refute the lies Satan would have you believe?

[[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"1091", "attributes":{"class":"media-image alignleft size-full wp-image-2374", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"283", "height":"424", "alt":"coffee and laptop"}}]]Welcome to the Faith Deployed...Again online book club, Day 9! (Not sure what this is all about? Click here.) In Your Book: Before we begin, please turn in your copy of Faith Deployed...Again to page 132 and read "Roll the Stone Away" by Jill Bozeman. (If you don't have a book, don't go away! We'd love to have you join us for this discussion anyway!) Now Let's Talk: Today's discussion is led by Jill Bozeman. The Army will send you where you don’t want to go and the timing is often… well, not yours! And unless you understand and trust that it is the Lord alone that orders your steps (Psalm 37:23), you might end up like I did; in doubt and unbelief, isolated and depressed. Yup! I said it, D-E-P-R-E-S-S-E-D, “depressed”! And, if you come from where I come from, you know Believer’s aren’t to be depressed! We are to be victorious! So…heap on top of the original hurt, guilt and shame, and we have all the ingredients for that enemy of ours to cook up a wicked plan! In 2005, I was a youth pastor, a department leader, a Bible teacher to adults. I was for all intents and purposes, in full-time ministry to our Lord Jesus Christ. My life was glorious!!!! I was preaching and teaching, involved in inter-church programs, reaching the community and seeing daily the fruit of my labor. My relationships were healthy and I knew that I knew, that I knew, I was in God’s perfect will for my life! Talk about heaven on earth?! And then….we received orders: And not the good kind. That’s right, recruiting duty. Recruiting duty is much like depression, you can’t possibly know unless you’ve experienced it! And I was about to learn both lessons at once! I went from “full-speed ahead” in ministry to a dead-stop, at our new assignment. We were in a new church, a new community, a new spiritual culture where no one spoke my language (figuratively speaking, of course). My head was spinning, and after the confusion and the sadness subsided, I was just plain mad! I knew better than to be mad at God, but wasn’t sure where to turn with the disappointment. I mistakenly thought I had been at the pentacle of a Christian life of service, and anything less than that was some sort of failure. Did you know that depression is anger turned inward? I isolated myself from those who knew me, so no one knew I was in this pit. And I certainly wasn’t going to let anyone know because, after all, faith-people aren’t supposed to be depressed! I’ve heard the religious pronouncements, and probably uttered them myself, toward those suffering from depression. So, I sealed the tomb for fear of judgment! I now know that self-pity and depression are two completely different things. A person who is in a depression has been deceived by the enemy, lured into trap, and then ambushed. Much like the wounded man on the road to Samaria, who needed more than just a jolly word of encouragement, offered in his direction, he needed HELP! He needed a rescuer, or he would die in that ditch! (Luke 10:30-37) Telling a person in the tomb of depression and isolation, so to speak, to “get up, or shake it off” is like telling a quadriplegic to pull himself out of a pit. It is obvious that someone will need to rescue him: throw him over his shoulder and carry him out! Which side of the tomb are you on? Are you a quadriplegic, hopeless and without strength inside the tomb? Or are you walking safely in the sunshine, on the other side of the road entirely? If you are inside the tomb, I have the best news EVER!!! Jesus is on the OUTSIDE! In fact, He’s seated at the right hand of the Father, on the edge of His seat, waiting for you to call on Him in faith and He will leap to your rescue! I called to Him from the pit, “Lord, I’m in this pit! I am cut off at the knees! I don’t have the strength or the will to crawl out. Have mercy on me! Send HELP!” Day by day, I would say to the Lord, “Lord, I cannot do this! If it is going to be done, it will be YOU and YOU alone!” Slowly, I began to see the light break at the edge of the stone, until finally, it was rolled away, and I was standing in the fullness of the light of the Son, once again! You may never have been in that pit. You may have stayed as far away from that tomb as you could possibly stand! And I’m certainly glad of that!!! But, did you know that Jesus may want to send you in as a rescuer? To help those who’ve been deceived and left to die? If we stand outside of the tomb, yet are disconnected from the community around us, we are much like the priest in the story of the Good Samaritan, who walked over to the other side of the road, so he didn’t have to see the wounded man, and be bothered with involving himself. But God has made us, each, parts of His Body, working together to bring help and healing to those who are hurting all around us! And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8 Discuss: Is it easier for you to isolate yourself or to reach out for help and community when the going gets rough? What can you do to reach out to someone who might be isolated right now?

[[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"1090", "attributes":{"class":"media-image alignleft size-medium wp-image-2398", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"200", "height":"300", "alt":"womanatlake"}}]]Welcome to the Faith Deployed...Again online book club, Day 7! (Not sure what this is all about? Click here.) In Your Book: Before we begin, please turn in your copy of Faith Deployed...Again to page 82 and read "Broken and Alone" by Catherine Fitzgerald. (If you don't have a book, don't go away! We'd love to have you join us for this discussion anyway!) Now Let's Talk: Today's discussion is led by Catherine Fitzgerald. It’s incredible to see God’s faithfulness come full circle in our darkest of times. When I wrote this devotional about a season over a year and a half ago, I was coming off the heels of two miscarriages and in the throes of our fourth deployment. Now, as I sit writing this post, I am seven months pregnant, with my husband having left just three days ago for yet another deployment. It seems that God has healed the very thing that shattered me when I wrote this devotional, but still this past month my mind has been racing with fears and “what ifs” at the impending difficulties of a newborn child being born with daddy gone and being a single parent again to my four year old and this new life. I may not be wounded in the same way as before, but I find myself “broken and alone” in a different set of circumstances. [Tweet "Trials and difficult times can come from places of gladness as much as they can from places of sorrow."] Fortunately, God has been doing a mighty work within me through His word as I prepare for another season of trials. Brokenness doesn’t always come from painful things, sometimes it can come from the good things as well: the gifts, the blessings, the joys. Ask any mother about this truth, childbirth alone is a testament to this fact. What God has been revealing to me is that trials and difficult times can come from places of gladness as much as they can from places of sorrow. James acknowledged this connection between joy and pain: “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know the that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1:2-3 NIV) The word “trials” come from the Greek peirasmos, which means the, “adversity, affliction, trouble: sent by God and serving to test or prove one's character, faith, holiness (Strongs, G3986).” James knew these tests would come in various packages, both those of blessing and sadness. So, how does the joy unmask itself out of the troubles, adversities and affliction that God sends our way? My own trials have shown me that the joy isn’t in the actual hardship that comes along with the trying times. No, joy that revels in one’s own pain is self-destructive and unhealthy. The joy James is referring to is revealed when we realize that God’s allowing of trouble is His way to tell us that He loves us too much to leave us in our present state. You see, constantly waging war within us is our fleshly desires battling against our desire to live our lives according to the precepts of God’s word (See Romans 7:14-24). The trials, the difficulties, the sorrows, and the blessings that bring about tough terrain in our lives are designed to mold and shape our faith and character into what God desires it to be. [Tweet "The glorious riches God has for us cannot sink deep down within our souls until the impurities rise up so that He can take them away."] As Proverbs 17:3 says, “The crucible for silver and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the heart.” The beautiful, pure precious metals are not seen until intense heat is applied. The same is true in our hearts. The glorious riches God has for us cannot sink deep down within our souls until the impurities rise up so that He can take them away. And until we arrive into our eternal home, this process will be a permanent one in our lives. As I sit alone in the midst of another trial, a point of brokenness that comes from an incredible blessing, God continuously reminds me of how quick I am to get comfortable in times where no hardship exists. I get lazy in my faith. I get complacent in my character. And my God cares way too much about those things and about me to allow that to happen. The next seven months are going to require a constant communication and relationship with my Heavenly Father. It’s going to require an endless stream of grace and mercy that can only flow from His outstretched hands. So many times we fight our broken and alone times when instead we should be embracing them with a joy that knows our Father is working for us and in us. Discuss: Trials are constant. They come in many forms. What trials do you currently find yourself facing? Are they the result of a blessing or a sorrow? Do you find yourself both broken and alone in this moment? While neither His thoughts are comparable to ours nor His ways our own, how might He be trying to test and refine your character, faith and/or holiness in these trials? What area of your life or faith is in need of transformation? Pray: Lord, while it is hard to endure the difficulties that come in this life, I know that ultimately they will grow me in ways only You can imagine. Give me the faith that trusts in you at all times. Give me a joy that relishes the opportunities to be drawn nearer to You and deeper into fellowship with You. In Your precious name, Amen.

[[{"type":"media", "view_mode":"media_large", "fid":"1088", "attributes":{"class":"media-image alignleft size-medium wp-image-2375", "typeof":"foaf:Image", "style":"", "width":"300", "height":"208", "alt":"laptop-love"}}]]Welcome to the Faith Deployed...Again online book club, Day Five! (Not sure what this is all about? Click here.) In Your Book: Before we begin, please turn in your copy of Faith Deployed...Again to page 64 and read "Loving Without Seeing" by Linda Montgomery. (If you don't have a book, don't go away! We'd love to have you join us for this discussion anyway!) Now Let's Talk: Today's discussion is led by Linda Montgomery. “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1 There is a sentence in “Loving Without Seeing” which continues to stir my thoughts: “Perhaps a married couple experiencing deployment is the closest picture of a Christian’s faith.” In telling the story of my newlywed friends geographically separated by deployment, I compared their experience to lessons in faith. As they diligently kept journals of their fears and concerns, their lessons, their hopes and dreams . . . their thoughts, they were demonstrating belief that each other existed and cared deeply about what they were each going through. They demonstrated trust and faithfulness in their covenant relationship and longed for the day when they could be together again. Even though they did not see each other for six months while he served aboard a submarine without phone or internet, they put pen to paper in journals shared when they eventually reunited. The comparison we can make in this faith lesson is summarized in my statement: “Doesn’t that sound like what we do as Christians? We have faith in an unseen God. We know His character, we know that He loves us, and we trust Him to forgive us and care about us as we grow in grace. We know that He wants to hear from us in prayer—to hear what we are thinking, feeling, and learning from His Word. We know that He has promised to return, and we cling to that promise. We know that life as we see it now is only a foretaste of life to come and we have hope.” (p. 64,65) That’s trust. Recently, the Lord gave me another comparison between military deployment and life on this earth until, as believers, we are re-deployed to heaven to be with Him forever. The comparison takes me back a long ways—to our one-year separation during the Vietnam War. I was very young at the time, and we did not have any children. So our decision as to where I would live while my husband was gone was simplified somewhat by our circumstances. I decided to set a goal: return to college and complete a graduate degree. I found a school which had a 13-month program . . . I applied, was accepted, found a job, and the military moved us. It sounds easy now, but it wasn’t. The classes were very difficult and I was so lonely in that small town. Most people there, including the other students, were baffled by my status of “married, but alone” . . . and had no real understanding of the war or its sacrifices. It was hard work. But my husband and I wrote every day. We numbered the envelopes because so often the letters would get jumbled in their delivery—and sometimes stories wouldn’t make sense because critical information was missing from the day, or week, before in an out-of-cycle letter. We made cassette voice recordings for each other, which was a new gadget at that time. We sent each other packages when we could. In other words, we worked at our relationship. Looking back, it was hard work but it was worth it. The degree I received (taking final exams during re-integration is also hard!) was very helpful in the years to come in getting jobs. The experience that we had of communicating while separated set the stage for increased trust and confidence for the many other times of separation during my husband’s military career. Until Christ returns or until we die, one of the things we are to do is to work while we watch and we wait. The bottom line is—we prayed, set goals and we worked at it. We worked at our jobs and we worked at our relationship. I believe it’s the same for Christians on earth. Until Christ returns or until we die, one of the things we are to do is to work while we watch and we wait. Work to develop our spiritual gifts . . . work in service to one another . . . work to grow in grace . . . always for His glory. We are not working for salvation—that part is a free gift, totally dependent on His grace. But as we deepen our relationship with Him, He will reveal so much of His character and love. Sounds like marriage . . . sounds like Love. So I believe that just as we are not to waste our time on earth until we see Christ face-to-face, we have the opportunity not to waste our time of deployment. When I see couples being intentional about their time apart by setting goals to work at their love relationship, or possibly developing a new skill, memorizing Scripture, going on a trip—perhaps even a mission trip, getting new training, finishing a much-desired project, spending more time in prayer, keeping a journal or scrapbook, . . . whatever the Lord leads them to do . . . I affirm them for their faithful diligence and their wise use of time. No excuses—they make the most of the opportunities, however difficult. Even this evening we had dinner with a family—the Air Force husband is leaving Saturday to be an I.A. with the Army in Afghanistan. I asked his wife, “Do you have a goal for this deployment?” She replied, “Honestly, last deployment I just wanted to survive (with 4 kids). And I did. This deployment I want to make the effort to thrive. I have signed up for a new weekly Bible study at my church. It’s going to take some study and homework, but I think it will be good for me.” I agree. A good marriage takes hard work—at communicating, at unselfishness, at romance—and with God it is possible to overcome obstacles even as complicated as deployment. As encouraging as this statement was tonight, I realize how easy it is to make excuses. For example, when The Love Dare (from the movie Fireproof) came out, my husband and I often heard, “I really need to do The Love Dare, but I can’t because we’re not together.” That really got to me, and I was determined to offer an alternative. I believe that having a good marriage takes hard work—at communicating, at unselfishness, at romance—and with God it is possible to overcome obstacles even as complicated as deployment. So I got creative and envisioned just how a military member and spouse would accomplish the forty days of The Love Dare while geographically separated by deployment (understanding that this is not possible in combat situations). The result? The Deployment Dare. All forty days (on the sidebar of www.ExcellentOrPraiseworthy.org), perfectly mirror the dares in The Love Dare, but designed by the Holy Spirit to meet the challenges of separation head-on. Does it work? Only if you work at it. Here is a dramatic testimony from a reader: “My wife did The Deployment Dare for me last deployment to Afghan and it really changed our stale disconnected relationship to a vibrant one in 40 days. I had no idea she was doing it and by the time she was done with it our conversations were Greatly changed! We went from “Hi”, “now what”, “I don’t know”, “how are you” . . . to loving conversations about our future together and our children we were going to have and our home we were going to build. Now one year later we have the Deployment Love Dare to thank for our home we built which we would have never talked about, our new baby boy that was definitely not in the cards before we learned to successfully communicate, and a much stronger relationship. Please, if you haven’t tried this You Need To!!!!” Part of loving without seeing is believing by faith, and I believe that you have a fighting chance to work at your marriage while you are apart. It’s like working on your relationship with God with gratitude until He calls you home—the effort has eternal rewards! Loving Without Seeing? Have faith. Discuss: 1. What goal could you set to work at during this deployment—or during this next year? 2. In what ways could doing The Love Dare or The Deployment Dare help your marriage?