JocelynGreen.com Logo

RSS  |  Facebook  |  Twitter  | Contact

Book Club Day 2: The Words We Say to Ourselves

Tue, 2014-11-11 05:00 -- Jocelyn Green

Happy Veteran's Day!!

Welcome to Day Two of the Faith Deployed...Again online book club! (Not sure what this is all about? Click here.)

In Your Book: Please take a moment to grab your copy of Faith Deplolyed...Again and turn with me to page 28 to read the devotion I wrote called "Soul Talk." (You can also read it online in the free excerpt of the book, here.) Now Let's Talk: Today's discussion is led by Jocelyn Green. The other day at the coffee shop, I couldn't help but overhear a young woman say, "I am the boss of my own life." Apparently the young man she was talking to asked her to repeat herself, because again, but with wider eyes, a nodding head, and a louder voice, she said, "I am the boss of my own life!" Let's face it. Most of us, if not all of us, want to be in control of our lives. And the uncomfortable truth is. . .we're not. Not really. In Faith Deployed. . .Again: More Daily Encouragement for Military Wives, I share a story about how my self-talk became a negative, self-fulfilling prophecy until I replaced my words to myself with truths from Scripture. On the flip side, I believe that self-talk that gives ourselves too much credit (as in being "the boss" of our own lives, or not needing help from anyone) is just as misguided and damaging. [Tweet "What we tell ourselves matters."]

In her book Self Talk, Soul Talk, Jennifer Rothschild says:

Control over the events of our lives is a pleasant daydream at best and a cruel fantasy at worst. Even so, we all seem ready to embrace the mirage. That's why we get angry and feel discontent when we lost control of a situation we feel we ought to have a handle on. We act as though we've realy lost something, but we never truly had it at all. (page 104)

How true! This would be a bitter pill to swalllow indeed if we thought we were completely at the mercy of the government, or the military, or natural disasters, or international conflicts. But even though it may seem this way, God is ultimately in control.

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps" (Proverbs 16:9). "I form the light and create darkness,  I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the LORD, do all these things" (Isaiah 45:7).

Even things which seem to fall under the category of "chance" or "coincidence" cannot escape God's will:

 "The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD" (Proverbs 16:33).

In her book, Rothschild goes on to point out the certain things we do have control over, no matter what. She says:

  • We have control over our own attitudes.
  • We have control over our responses to circumstances.
  • We have control over our choice to seek God.
  • We have control over our determination to be still before Him.
  • We have control over our choice to acknowledge that He is God--and we are not! (page 104)

Personally, the times when I'm the most frustrated are the times when I feel most out of control. I need to change my self-talk from "I need things to go my way!" to the more truthful soul-talk of, "God is still God, and He is in control." I need to remember what I do control, and align my energies accordingly. Discuss:  What do you sometimes tell yourself that causes more discouragement? What Bible verse should you claim instead?

Comments

We just had this very conversation this morning with our daughter! She was frustrated over a school project, and she just needs to plow through and finish. Her self-talk was making it so much harder. We had the conversation of how she chooses what she says to herself and how much easier it would be if she didn't talk so negatively to herself about it!

Submitted by Jocelyn Green on
That's fantastic, Amelia! This self-talk business is really SO important, for kids and adults alike. Unfortunately, I think most of us don't even realize we're doing this. I even have to remind myself. And then it's so much easier to steer the day (and my attitude) around. Hope your daughter is having a better time with her project!

I guess we don't know, she may have been in a controlling relationship that she needed to say that to herself. Sometimes self talk that sounds really out there for some of us can really be helpful for others that have been in very self degrading relationships or abused. It can be so hard for them to even say something like that out loud, that they could be in charge of their life. I always find I like to think about the back story behind the people I see in public places though!

Submitted by Jocelyn Green on
Martha, that's an excellent point. We don't know the woman in the story's background. Maybe she needed to take more responsibility or ownership of her life in a healthy way. In any case, I think even she would agree that what we tell ourselves matters. ;)

Submitted by Laura Egerdahl on
My husband is currently deployed and we are expecting our first child (a boy!) very soon. It's not looking like my husband will be here for the birth and I find myself thinking I can't do this without him. I need to claim Philippians 4:11 and Isaiah 41:10 and know that God is with BOTH of us giving us His grace and strength right when we need it. Thank you for this devotional! I needed it today. :)

Submitted by Jocelyn Green on
Hi Laura, congratulations on the upcoming birth of your son! I'm sorry to hear that your husband may not be able to be home for the big day. Bu you're right--no matter where on the globe your husband is, God is with you, just as much as He is with your husband. Praying for you during this season.

Submitted by Marie on
I am so notorious for negative self talk. And it starts off as a little thought- then, it snowballs into this ginormous ball of ugliness! It's hard to stop once I start. Sometimes in the middle of my ugly thoughts, I tell myself, "I am not receiving those lies, in Jesus' name!" And also have to remember what God thinks of me. The lies of the enemy has to be brought up against God's Word. It's only then I can get away from negative self talk once it starts!

Submitted by Jocelyn Green on
Marie, that's absolutely right! The lies of the enemy must be brought up against God's Word. Claim truth! I went through a dark stage of my life some years ago, and ended up writing Bible verses in eyeliner on my bathroom mirror to keep me straight. So glad you came here today, Marie. Hope to see you again soon.

Add new comment

This will not be displayed to the public or used for marketing - just for claiming giveaways.